“I am a Doula!”
“You are a what now?”
“My daughter in law is a Doodla” (this is my favourite mispronunciation by the way)
“What is a doula!!!!???”
“Oh, I know you are a like a midwife, but not one, is that right?”
Above, are just a few things I have heard over the last 8 years, since I entered the world of empowering women, under the title of ‘Doula’. And in that time, I have supported 50+ women (and their partners) during pregnancy, birth and the early weeks/months of motherhood.
I am sharing this with the purpose and intention of NOT telling you what a doula does, but more specifically, how being a doula how allowed me to be, and ultimately held space, and allowed many others to be who they need to be too.
Being a Doula and all that brings, is in my blood. It has rolled out into every area of my life, and since answering this calling, everything has changed. (yep I know that sounds a little wanky, but please bear with me)
I am a different Woman. Mother. Daughter, Wife. Sister. Friend. Business owner
To me, the word Doula means choice and it means being truly seen and heard.
A doula won’t judge you for your choices or decisions, and certainly won’t influence them. She will be empathetic, and listen whilst you share your sadness, fears, anger along with your hopes and dreams.
She won’t try to make it better, or make false promises that all will be ok, but she will stand strong and walk beside you, supporting you, as you make your way forwards. She may have a different perspective, and be able to see a little clearer, so will signpost you along the way, but ultimately, she is your cheerleader, empowering you, as this is YOUR story, YOUR pathway, YOUR choice.
She holds space like no other, creating an environment of safety, for release and discovery.
Where something is created out of doing nothing.
Because you see, most of the time, we have the answers we are seeking. We know, deep down inside what we need, but we become so clouded in our heads, that we can’t see a way of moving forwards.
We feel we need someone to give us all the answers, to tell us what to do. When actually, all we really need to do, is reconnect with ourselves and turn up the volume on our inner voice, our GUT instincts.
In a space of warmth and safety, we can find all the answers we need.
A doula creates and holds that space
As I say above, I have been a doula ‘officially’ for eight years now, but it has been in me my whole life, I was just waiting for the right time to step up completely.
What started out as a role for women transforming from woman to mother, has now evolved and I am finding myself doulaing more and more, for women wanting transformation at many other pivotal times in their lives, which doesn’t involve the creation of a new life, but actually recreation of their lives.
Women ready to shed their skin and leave behind all that no longer serves them (outdated and limiting beliefs), and taking forwards all the massively important lessons that have taught them so much.
Being all they want to be, in all areas of their lives.
Being a good enough mum as well as a business woman, or being ok with ‘Just being a stay at home Mum’
Shedding the layers of self-doubt and insecurities and stepping into their new skin with more self-love, self-awareness and self-worth.
To me, being a doula has always been about witnessing transformation, empowerment and discovery, and to be present as a women steps into her power, to do it HER way, is a privilege, that I have been afforded many times, and each time I am so grateful.
A doula is not just for birth, it’s for life.
I am proud to call myself a doula, and equally proud that in being a doula, I am creating ‘Head-Space for Mum’s’ just like you and me.